Tuesday, September 20, 2011

Down, deeper and deeper...

Lately I haven't really been feeling it. It being, well everything. It seems this week has been harder than normal for me to make healthy choices. Choosing the right snack. Pushing play on my fitness DVDs. Ordering the healthier option while eating out. Nothing has seemed easy and I know life isn't easy, but it usually isn't this hard either.

I had a great weekend away with my hubby this past weekend. It was our 4 year wedding anniversary last week and my parents gave us a hotel stay about 2 hours away. Josh had his police testing this weekend so they got us a hotel near the testing location, which was super awesome of them, but this also involved a LOT of eating out! Since last Wednesday we have ate out 7 times. Holy shit! SEVEN times! I must also admit that those 7 times I didn't chose the healthiest option, no wonder I am feeling like crap. Wow! Pizza, fries, chocolate, burgers and so on! This has got to stop!

I have my weigh in tomorrow night and of all nights that I chose to binge is tonight, the night before a weigh in. Come on! How stupid is that? My day was going well from an eating standpoint, until dinner hit, which wasn't a healthy dinner, but then I had one of those nights where you eat everything in sight. Omg just thinking about what I did tonight makes me sick. Ice cream, fruit roll up, popcorn (WITH BUTTER), cookies... I am a mess! I wouldn't be surprised if I have a gain tomorrow of 5 pounds! It will be a shocker if it is any less than that. Now I know this whole post has seemed very negative and I am sorry for that, but this is how I am feeling right now. Not to mention when I am down and already feeling like crap I tend to think of things that bring me more down. Things I may have said or done wrong in the past. Things I regret or I am not happy about, which bring me even further down and it is just a recipe for disaster. I must get some sleep before I think of more ways to bring/put myself down! Trust me, I know things aren't as bad as they seem right now. I know that I will lose whatever I gained this week next, but right now at this very second I am down and seriously want to cry. Just sharing - that's what this is all about right? Goodnight!

No comments:

Post a Comment