Busy Freakin' Week...

I want to apologize to those that do read that I havent written much this week and to be honest I probably wont going forward. This week is INSANE! I am going up to my cottage on the weekend and will be able to concentrate more on writing throughout my stay there.

My last baseball game was last night. Work is insane. So much going on! Not to mention I volunteered to do a newsletter for my church this week and it needs to be in for print by Friday and I havent even started! AH! Ill be back with more frequent blogs soon guys, promise!

Weigh in tonight - wish me luck!

Cottage Life...

Sitting here with an amazing view, wishing I could stay here forever...


Oh the cottage life, there is nothing like it. Nothing more beautiful, nothing more relaxing. But part of me cannot help to think about the fact that the summer is coming to an end and then of course fall begins, which isn't so bad itself. The part I seem to dread more and more every year is winter. When I was younger I didn't seem to mind it so much, but as I get older, with more responsibilities, my dislike for it increases significantly.

I am trying my best to soak it all in and enjoy this lovely experience while it's here. I must remember that it will be back next year for me to enjoy once again with my loved ones.

Location:Tobermory, Ontario

Making Fitness A Priority...

I am very proud of myself. A very rare thing happened this morning. I set my alarm an hour earlier than I normally get up because I knew I had a lot to do this morning. My mother in law and step-father in law were meeting us at our house and then we were all going to travel up to my parent's cottage for the weekend. I knew that I had some work to do and a conference call around 8 am, not to mention packing, cleaning, laundry and all the normal stuff I do in the mornings. But then I thought where am I going to fit in my Friday workout? I woke up another hour prior to when my alarm was supposed to be going off and I thought to myself "I could get another hour of sleep, OR I could get up now and have a little more time to do stuff and not feel so rushed."

That's right I got up two hours earlier than I normally would and worked my little butt off < (one part of me that actually isn't all that large haha) I did the TJ Fat Blaster again, which is a very intense 30 min interval workout and I gurantee buckets of sweat when you are done! AMAZING!

I never in a million years would be the one to put fitness first. Even last year when I was all over working out and I did make it a priority, I never put it first. I started my day off well and guranteed it is going to be a LOT less stressful of a morning now that I have. I feel great!

Is it in my head...

Something I find totally weird is that I look in the mirror and I see a much smaller person than I used to see only a month ago. Don't get me wrong, I have my "fat days", but dont we all? You may ask why I find this weird? Well I am a larger woman with a lot of weight to lose, in fact my goal is 120lbs. I am only slightly into my journey and have lost about 21lbs now. I am sure 21lbs still shows even on someone as large as myself, but it isnt AS noticeable on someone that is smaller to begin with, obviously. I also dont rely 100% on the scale. I measure myself too and I have lost some inches, but not a substantial amount. I must add that this is NOT be being hard on myself, this is me trying to make a point. I am very happy and proud with my progress thus far. Anywho, I look in the mirror and I feel like I have lost nearly 50lbs, I feel better, I look better, mind you I still have a huge tummy on me, but it even looks smaller, but the person I look at in the mirror does not match the progress on the scale and measuring tape. So then one would say "how are your clothes fitting?" and to answer that, they are fitting better than a month ago, BUT they are not matching up to the person I see in the mirror either.

This is completely different from how I used to look at myself in the mirror. I would avoid it all the time, which I still do when I am naked ;) But I find myself checking my body out more and more frequently now. Even when I was at this weight last year I wouldnt be seen looking in the mirror/window at my body with a smile or grin on myself. It just wouldnt happen.

What do you think has made the difference this time? Is it because my mind and heart are in a different place now than they have ever been? That's got to be it, right? Because that is the only thing that has changed significantly. I would love some thoughts and feedback on this. Anyone else find themselves in a situation like this or am I the only weirdo? ;)

Self Help...

Thinking tonight about books and the type of book I have either tried to or succeeded in finishing made me wonder why I always turn to the same type of book. I realized tonight that I go for all these self help books, books that promise me something other than a good read or a good ol' read. I always find myself grabbing for the book that will make me thin; the book that will make me healthy; the book that will help me spiritually; but in all honesty a simple book is NOT going to help me with that. It won't make me better. I do understand that these books have great information within them and they may be a good read for some, but simply not for me... Not anymore! I am going to stay true to the books that I have enjoyed in the past and although they may be frowned upon, or I may be laughed at, I am ok with that because I enjoy them and that is ALL that matters. Love stories, vampires, war stories, here I come!

Big Wreck and Godsmack All In One Weekend...

This weekend I went to the Cornfest in Jarvis, Ontario. It is a festival that has everything from vendors selling crafts to rides and live bands. I had a great time there on Friday walking around and looking at all the different booths, but Saturday was when the real fun began. Big Wreck (Thornley) played there on Saturday night and I believe this was my 5th or 6th time seeing them live. They put on a kick ass show and Saturday wasn't any different.

On Sunday night the hubby and I had tickets to see Godsmack in Hamilton, Ontario with a bunch of friends. It too was a great show, but I think I am getting too old for the hardcore rock shows. I know, I am only 26, but damn it is getting hard to continue going to these shows. It is true, there is nothing like that feeling you get when a band you enjoy gets up on stage, the music louder than expect, the crowd for wild. It is an amazing feeling, but at the same time I am finding more and more other people like to ruin it for you. You get those ignorant douche bags that decide to drink way too much and somehow bring you down by spilling something on you, kicking you, shoving you, spitting on you, whatever it may be. I am just way too old for that shit! Now don't get me wrong, if a band comes to town who I thoroughly enjoy and just so happen to have not seen live, the chances are I will be going. Bands like Aerosmith that I have been dieing to see, but haven't had the chance - I will be there. But if I have already seen a band I am not certain I will be attending anymore. Overall Godsmack was a great experience and of course a rockin' show.

Is it me?

I just had a really powerful, heated, and venting conversation about friendships, trust and acceptance.

It started with me thinking about the fact that all my life, through all the stages where you develop important relationships, I never had a whole lot of friends. I had acquaintances and people I would hang out with, but when it came down to it those people wouldn't be there if I really needed them. I suppose I have always taken friendship really seriously and cherished the very few that I could trust with my life, unlike the many out there that assume everyone is your best friend and they only end up hurting you.

I look back to High school and I wonder why I didn't have more friends. Don't get me wrong, I got along with mostly everyone, but I had only a few very close friends. Then there were that group of girls who were always so high on themselves and no one else was good enough for them, or at least that was my perspective of it. I think back now, "why wasn't I good enough"? I personally believe I have (and had) a great personality so therefore I naturally wonder "was it because of my weight? Could these people be so cruel and so judgmental to not even give me the time of day because I was fat?" I cannot possibly think of any other reason why I haven't been able to develop and hold onto friendships more so than I have been able to. I have always felt like I've been on a different level than most from a maturity standpoint so maybe I push others away? Maybe I am the one that is too judgmental or walked around with a "too good" attitude without even noticing it?

I look at it like this.. I have a lot to offer and I believe that friendships are important and something to be cherished. They don't just come around every day and when that true friendship does develop, I have and will hold on to it tight because it is something very rare in this world today.

Turbo Jam Day #3 Complete... Weight Watchers Weigh in Results

I literally just finished Day #3 on my Get My Ass Moving Plan and I feel GREAT! Sweaty, very very sweaty, but great! I miss this feeling that I used to get after working out and busting out a sweat. AMAZING!

Last night I weighed in at Weight Watchers and I lost .4 of a pound. Notice I did not say "I ONLY lost .4"? That is something that has been really hard for me to overcome. I am far too hard on myself and a loss is a loss regardless of how much of a loss it is. Yes, it is more frustrating when you have a lower loss, especially when you are now working out, you are eating within your points, but there are some foods I could have done without. All I need to remember is to never give up. I am ready to finally finish something. I am ready to finally truly succeed and as long as I keep at it I will get there. If I would have just kept at it all those others times I would have already been there.

One week is not going to define my success. One month is not going to define my success. As long as I stay strong and in it for the long haul, then I will succeed and finally do what I have been trying to do for almost 20 years: Lose this weight and be truly happy and healthy.

"Commitment is what transforms a promise into reality. It is the words that speak boldly of your intentions. And the actions which speak louder than the words. It is making the time when there is none. Coming through time after time after time, year after year after year. Commitment is the stuff character is made of; the power to change the face of things. It is the daily triumph of integrity over skepticism."

Get My Ass Moving Plan...

Yesterday I set up a plan called the "Get My Ass Moving Plan". I wanted something that would, well - GET MY ASS MOVING. This is what the next few weeks look like.

The plan is using my Turbo Jam DVDs to gradually get me back into fitness again. Turbo Jam is an amazing workout by Chalene Johnson and Beachbody, which I purchased 5-6 years ago now. I have been doing TJ on and off since I purchased it. The first month I did TJ back when I bought it, I didnt change my eating and in the first month I lost something like 11 pounds. I since have purchased different workouts and havent even had the chance to try them all yet.

Day #1 - I completed this yesterday and afterwards I felt great, but sore and VERY tired. Afterwards I realized how much I missed that feeling. The feeling of the sweat pouring down your face. That feeling you get in your chest and lungs when you really push it. It was like a drug to me. Check out my Day #1 YouTube video here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U7vogPYqgxw

Day #2- Success! I finished this workout this morning. TJ 20 min. My muscles are aching from the TJ yesterday and my baseball game last night, but I worked through that and once again felt amazing. I even noticed an improvement in my breathing and movements from yesterday. Its crazy how fast your body can start to change! - Check out my Day #2 YouTube video here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DE4oBvNryJQ

For the next couple week I plan on sticking to the original workouts and then moving up to the other DVDs after our holidays in September. I am looking forward to the changes this will make on the scale and my ass!

Now get out there and get your ass moving too!

Opinions are like assholes...

Do you ever get really frustrated with those people in your life that chose to always have an opinion? I think that with certain people it bothers me more than others because it is a constant, but also because I have a hard time admitting I am wrong unless I am proved to be wrong. Until that point that you prove me wrong I will not back down. At the same time I have no problem backing down at that point and saying "I was wrong, you are right." I understand that everyone has and is entitled to an opinion. I also believe that if you don't live by your own advice, or whatever it may be that you preach onto others, than why do you have the right to do just that, preach. Everyone is guilty of this at some point in their lives, but there are some people in my life in particular that are over the top and it makes it extremely hard to listen to anything they have to say. Being knowledgable is one thing, but being a know-it-all is very unbecoming.

What To Expect...

This is all so sudden and honestly I have no idea where to start or even where I want/need to go with this. All I know is that I plan on sharing my life with you all right here on this page. I have so much to write about that I need an outlet such as this and although good ol' fashion pen to paper is always a safe bet there are some down sides to that too. For example and most importantly - It hurts my hand... I get merely 3 sentences in and an excruciating cramp like pain begins. I think I have been out of school for too long and rely way too much on a keyboard. Also, I chose to not update it enough and therefore what is the point. Hopefully with having a blog that I share with the world I will at least then be slightly more accountable and have some people bugging me to update when it has been a week or five. 


I can't tell you what to expect from this blog just yet, especially considering I am uncertain what to expect myself. But I will be talking about Redefining Me... well I would hope you already realized that - the blog's title is "Redefining Brooke" < That’s me! I have grown a lot in the last year and I am not talking about just around my waistline either. I have changed a lot in the way I think, feel, live, love, learn etc., but this is only the beginning in the long path to Redefining Brooke.