Thursday, August 25, 2011

Is it in my head...

Something I find totally weird is that I look in the mirror and I see a much smaller person than I used to see only a month ago. Don't get me wrong, I have my "fat days", but dont we all? You may ask why I find this weird? Well I am a larger woman with a lot of weight to lose, in fact my goal is 120lbs. I am only slightly into my journey and have lost about 21lbs now. I am sure 21lbs still shows even on someone as large as myself, but it isnt AS noticeable on someone that is smaller to begin with, obviously. I also dont rely 100% on the scale. I measure myself too and I have lost some inches, but not a substantial amount. I must add that this is NOT be being hard on myself, this is me trying to make a point. I am very happy and proud with my progress thus far. Anywho, I look in the mirror and I feel like I have lost nearly 50lbs, I feel better, I look better, mind you I still have a huge tummy on me, but it even looks smaller, but the person I look at in the mirror does not match the progress on the scale and measuring tape. So then one would say "how are your clothes fitting?" and to answer that, they are fitting better than a month ago, BUT they are not matching up to the person I see in the mirror either.

This is completely different from how I used to look at myself in the mirror. I would avoid it all the time, which I still do when I am naked ;) But I find myself checking my body out more and more frequently now. Even when I was at this weight last year I wouldnt be seen looking in the mirror/window at my body with a smile or grin on myself. It just wouldnt happen.

What do you think has made the difference this time? Is it because my mind and heart are in a different place now than they have ever been? That's got to be it, right? Because that is the only thing that has changed significantly. I would love some thoughts and feedback on this. Anyone else find themselves in a situation like this or am I the only weirdo? ;)

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